Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I have fence marks all over my body
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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