Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
