Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
