ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
