So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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