i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
