so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
