It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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