its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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