Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
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