I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
