I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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