Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
