If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
There's always time for handjobs
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
