fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
