So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
