New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
