Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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