fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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