My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
