just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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