ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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