Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
