I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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