it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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