i think i have herpe
just one?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
