I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
