loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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