She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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