just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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