I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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