Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
If I had your ass I would rule the world
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
