either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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