went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
