two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Randomize
