The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
