I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
