Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
