oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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