Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
