Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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