Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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