He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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