just come out here and I will go home with you...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
