I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Can i not drive my cunt home
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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