I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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