just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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