Your face is a jimmy john
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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