But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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