shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
